I’ve been gone around these parts for too long.
I think I’ll be coming back around this way for a while.
I think I’ll be coming back around this way for a while.
You know that dream when you’re naked in front of a ton of people you know?
Yes, that.
Saw this little guy on the walk to work this morning. Django almost made a snack out of him. He flew away shortly after I stopped filming.
I have no regrets.
SO. MUCH. FUN.
We did all this without any soda.
Night time accomplishment level up achieved.
I tend not to complain much. I know my life is good. I have a loving family, good health, and plenty of happiness. Things are pretty damn good.
It’s probably something to do with my nature / nurture combo, but one thing I tend to have a hard time with is asking for help. This trait especially rears its ugly head in a professional scenario.
There was an impromptu but serious gathering today, involving and about me. I tend to freak out at these sorts of things. I really fucking freak out when it’s at work. I took the dog to pee, counted to ten, and said to myself “it can only hurt as much as you let it.”
I want to remember today. It is the first time in recent memory that I observed genuine kindness, compassion, and caring from a group of concerned colleagues. I kinda broke down a little bit, and all of the things I’ve been keeping to myself for the last nine months came pouring out at once.
I do intend to work on being more conscious of myself and my tendency to hole up and go it alone when the going gets tough. This demonstrated for me that people are capable of caring, there is good in the world, and we are the only ones who can help it to happen. Sometimes we need to lean on one another, and I’m relieved that I was able to do so today.
[snip]
In my head, I shriek, “One day, you will regret not going to college and realize that you jumped into marriage with someone that you didn’t even know in search of a idealized life that doesn’t exist, and now you’re stuck. When you tie yourself down with a marriage and kids and a mortgage and debt and other things that hold you in place, you become so heavy that you don’t have room to let yourself grow and change — something you still need to do when you’re in your early twenties and practically still a fetus. You are better than that.” When, let’s face it, I probably just mean, “I am better than you.” Which, um, is not an attractive color on myself. I mean, really.
This is an interesting discussion that could use to be hashed out further.
Marriage and kids and mortgages and debt don’t necessarily mean growth and change come to a grinding halt. From a fellow fetus on the other side of the fence, it isn’t as bad as it might seem. Often, it can be downright delightful. There are also times I am so frustrated it seems to take all I have not to throw in the towel. The good with the bad, and all that. I can’t imagine our lives any other way.
It boils down to how we make life choices. We’re all different, so it’s kind of hard to predict what will make someone truly happy. Having my son explore his emotions and express love towards his friends and family is the bees proverbial knees to me. It might not be the same for other people. I’m alright with that.
The important thing is not how others perceive us. We can’t change that. We can change our perceptions of other people. We can offer people respect and kindness.
Remembered last night I’d neglected to take the trash to the curb. She said I should set the alarm for 5am, because “That’s when they come get the trash.”
I do some silly things when I’m tired. Now I’m up and going through keynotes with winnie the pooh, burts bees, price is right, and that chick walking the bulldog from daily candy(?).
