happy jeans
Of late (read: since our son was born), I’ve had a tough time fitting into any of those trendy hipster jeans. Not that I ever owned any to begin with. But I mean come on, you’re lying if you say you’ve never tried some on Just To See™.
So I’ve been used to heading straight to the Big & Tall™ (read: Husky™) section right off the bat for a while now. As it happened, I was in the market for some new jeans, as my old pairs were wearing holes in the groin, and that sort of thing isn’t really considered Web Chic™ these days.
Kind of on a half-hearted whim, I walked into Lucky Brand, which is one of those establishments where when you see it, you can’t help but scowl under your breath and curse all future generations of hipsters with their matching hipster children and their seemingly bottomless supply of far too much rock & roll and happiness.
Curse those guys, ya know?
One such hipster salesperson approached me, and right away I made it clear that I was Only Looking™ and not in the market to lay down any serious cash. This is the kind of place where a shirt can cost you upwards of $1,000 if you aren’t careful or if you failed to pay attention to decimals back in whatever grade it was they taught that sort of thing.
One thing led to another, and I wound up trying on a pair of jeans dubbed Lucky Legends. In a 36. The Horror™.
Let me be the first to say that I hate it when I’m out shopping with someone and they go on and on about how fat they are, and how they looked so much thinner at 13, and what has happened to their once slim body and will I please please promise to forget this whole trip ever happened etc. ad infinitum. I hate it. I really, truly do.
That aside, there’s something inherently disheartening about the whole Trying Stuff On™ experience once you realize you’ve aged, changed, what have you. So you can imagine my shock when, not only did the jeans zip up all the way, they actually fit pretty damned well.
So without further delay, here are the Miracle Jeans™.
They were half off too, so we can keep the house! Hooray! Three Points™!
